Elder Journeys™

Recognizing and Honoring the Wisdom of The Elders

Quarterly Newsletter

Fall 2006

 I ask all blessings,
I ask them with reverence,
Of my mother the earth,
Of the sky, moon, and sun my father.
I am old age: the essence of life,
I am the source of all happiness.
All is peaceful, all in beauty,
All in harmony, all in joy.

Anonymous Navaho
19th-20th century

Feature Article:

The Wizard of Oz and Apple Cider

No matter how hard I try, there seems to be no easy way for me to hold back the passage of time, to mark time and slow it down.  No matter how many times I say to myself, enjoy today, I find that today disappears so quickly I scarcely get my breath.  In spite of my awareness that time cannot be tamed, there is one opportunity I do not miss.  I refuse to allow myself to miss celebrating the changing of the season.  So, as we find ourselves moving into the fall season here in the Northern Hemisphere, I realize that my long warm sunny days will be evolving into short, sweet and cooler days.  I now make it a point to celebrate the change in a formal way.

What marked the beginning of the Fall Season in your home?  Was it the fact that school started and you were no longer able to play outside until 8 PM?  Or was it the realization that the sweaters had to be pulled out of storage?  For me, it was the opportunity to watch The Wizard of Oz and eat popcorn and drink apple cider.  It really was a ritual in our house.  Every October, we would know that the movie would be shown and we would once again be transported to the magical Land of Oz.  Imagine, we had no other way to see this classic…no DVD, no taping to watch it later; we were at the mercy of the network.

Today there isn’t much we have to delay gratification about.  Today most of us have access to all we want or need.  But back then it was different.  Back then, it was…

What was the fall season like for the elder in your care?  Have you ever thought about it?  What might they miss from the good old days and how might you help them re-experience a portion of that time?  Even if you think they won’t notice, or even if you think it doesn’t matter, I’m here to tell you that it’s sometimes the simple things that can mean the most.

Resource of the Quarter:  Almost Home (Independent Lens film)

Here’s what the filmmakers have to say about the making of this film:

Simply put, we hope the film helps people to overcome their denial of aging and at least to have a profitable and honest conversation about their future, or a loved one’s future. And we hope that people are inspired by Saint John’s efforts to create better alternatives for all of us when we are old and need help.
—Brad Lichtenstein and Lisa Gildehaus

Excerpt from the following article (taken from www.almosthomedoc.org)

Role Reversal: When Children Become Responsible for Parents

By Elizabeth Cohen, Spokesperson for the Alzheimer’s Foundation Of America

… there are silver linings to the extreme parenting job. One is you get to spend time with your parents at the end of their lives. There is something precious and lovely about that time, because it is so fleeting and finite. I once took my mother for a weekend to a beautiful lakeside town. She was too weak to do much so we spent time watching old movies in bed and sitting in a beautiful fragrant garden. I read a part of a book to her. We just sat there, in one another’s company, just being together. Although I wheeled her wheelchair, fed her dinner and changed the channels for her, she was my mother again for those two days. Something about her sitting across the table from me. Being there. “You have been a splendid daughter,” she told me.  She died two months later.

Activity Suggestion:

We can start by asking ourselves a few questions.  What did fall mean to this elder in my family?  Was it a favorite season or was fall wished away because of the loss of daylight?  What do I recall about the activities we experienced or the places we traveled?  What do I know?  We can then turn to other elders in the family and ask them what they recall.  We can dig out photo albums and identify favorite destinations.  We can research on the internet to learn more about those places if we are unfamiliar with them.  Perhaps our elder is unable to get out much.  How might we bring cherished fall memories to him or her?  Consider bringing in all the five senses.  Smells, touch, taste are just as potent, if not more so than sight.  Be creative and let yourself imagine the possibilities!

Service of the Season:

Elder Coach Calls:

VIP Elder Coaching offers a weekly support call that gives people tangible tools to lighten the load, to see with new eyes, to experience illness and dying in new ways that are empowering and life enhancing.  Participants learn how they currently see death and dying and how they might approach these issues.  They are able to open up dialogue with other family members and possibly avoid additional distress in the heat of the moment.

Participants are given a forum to hear what others are going through and to have on-going support as needed from the comfort of their own home.  A community is formed and no one ever has to feel alone or abandoned.  Participants learn what types of healing actions may benefit a loved one in the middle of the dying process.  Even those who are not actively dying, but whose advanced age is rendering them in pain or discomfort will find solace in being ministered to with these simple, yet profound techniques and tools.

Food for Thought

 In Closing

There is a beauty in recognizing that together we make the burden less heavy and more doable.  Let us continue to find ways to work together to honor the elders and the aging/dying process of our lives.